


waiting for you

by kissbaeks



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Pregnant Byun Baekhyun, Single Parent Park Chanyeol, Single Parents, age gap, chanyeols married to a woman in the first part just fyi but chanbaek is the main ship, chanyeol’s like 30 and baek is 23 when they first meet, wingman jongdae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22329649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissbaeks/pseuds/kissbaeks
Summary: after losing the love of his life and having to raise his son on his own, chanyeol doesn't think he'll ever be happy again.then, he meets byun baekhyun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 5
Kudos: 145





	waiting for you

**Author's Note:**

> please just read through the part where chanyeol has a wife okay i did it for plot purposes and also its kinda cute please dont hate me for this

it’s nearing eleven at night, and all chanyeol wants to do is be at home with his wife. work is hectic, as always, but even this seems  _ overkill _ . one wouldn’t think producing music for bright-eyed, hopeful idols would consume so much of his time, but here he is. he’s tired, hungry, and he just wants to go home. but he keeps at it, doing the same things over and over as if it will fix anything. he really wishes he could be home right now, because jihae needs him now more than ever. he hardly looks up when the studio door opens.

“chanyeol?” it’s just jongin, who helps out when chanyeol’s too busy to focus on everything. “what are you still doing here? it’s late, you should go home… i’m sure your wife is waiting for you.”

“i should hope not,” he mumbles, reaching up to rub at his tired eyes. he hopes jihae isn’t waiting for him, it’s way too late and she should be resting. “i’ve just got one more thing…”

“no, just go now. your stuff sucks if you try to work when you’re tired.”

with a sigh, chanyeol closes his laptop and shoves it back into his bag before getting up to leave. his car is freezing, and the heater takes a billion years to kick in. he drives home as fast as he can without violating traffic laws. he unlocks the door in a hurry, almost tripping on his way in. there’s a light on in the bedroom, the soft warm glow of the lamp streaming out. he toes off his shoes and sets his bag down, almost running to their shared bedroom. he sighs softly when he sees his wife, half asleep in their bed and trying to read a book. jihae yawns softly, putting her bookmark in her book, closing it, and finally looking over at him. 

“oh,” she murmurs, setting her book aside. “you’re home.. god, you look so tired… come here, sweetheart, let’s go to bed.” 

“i’ve got to change first,” he replies, tugging at his tie. “and brush my teeth.”

“you’re hopeless, yeol.” jihae gets up with a sigh, groaning softly and rubbing her back as she makes her way over to him. “let me get that for you..”

“you should be resting, little miss,” he mumbles, settling his hands over her hips. “you need all the sleep you can get before the little one decides to make his appearance. you should be asleep by now, darling.” 

“well, gosh,” she replies, carefully untying his tie. “so sue me for wanting to wait up for my loving husband. you know i can’t sleep when you’re not here with me..” 

“i told you i’d be home a little late tonight,” he murmurs, kissing her forehead. “but i’ve got tomorrow off, my dear, and we can do whatever you’d like to do.” 

“i want… to sleep.” she mumbles, handing him the tie before working on unbuttoning his shirt. “your demon spawn is wrecking my insides.” 

“i’m sorry,” chanyeol says, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “i didn’t realize my baby would wreck you, or else i wouldn’t have gotten you pregnant.” 

“hurry up and brush your teeth, chanyeol.” jihae doesn’t make any move to go back to bed, though. she follows her husband to the bathroom and hugs him loosely from behind as he brushes his teeth, her round belly pressing against his back slightly. she’s always been quite small in stature, all petite and lithe, so at this point into her pregnancy she looks like she’s about to pop. her due date  _ is  _ approaching quickly, something chanyeol is very nervous about. he knows his wife is strong, but he worries she might go into labor while he’s at work and just wait for him to come home and end up hurting herself by waiting. every time she so much as whimpers, he’s immediately by her side, ready to get her anything she needs to be comfortable. he loves her so much, he just wants her to be safe and comfortable. he finishes brushing his teeth, sighing softly and tapping her hand so she’ll let go. she yawns cutely once they’re facing each other and chanyeol scoops her up and carries her to their bed like a princess. he lays her down gently, helping her adjust the pillows so she’ll sleep well. he settles down next to her, rubbing her belly carefully. the baby kicks gently, just because he knows his daddy is touching his mommy. 

“i love you,” he murmurs, kissing her cheeks gently. “i love you so much.”

“oh, chanyeol…” she reaches out, placing her small hand on his cheek. “i love you too.”

but everything seems to go downhill from there. jihae only has a little less than a month left until her due date, but things get worse for her. her morning sickness comes back with a vengeance, but it’s harder for her to kneel next to the toilet because of her swollen stomach. in the last month, her belly seemed to have doubled in size very rapidly, as if the baby was making up for lost time. she’s constantly in pain these days, spending most of her time in bed or on the couch. after she complains of always being in a lot of pain, chanyeol takes her to the doctor, who decides it would be best for jihae to spend the remainder of her pregnancy in bed. she can get up to use the bathroom and get water, but she shouldn’t be up and about for too long. with only three weeks remaining, chanyeol decides to take some time off to be with his wife. 

“you know i’ll be fine here by myself…” jihae mumbles, resting her head against chanyeol’s shoulder. “i’m pregnant, not dying. don’t use up all your vacation time…” 

“you’re supposed to be resting, in bed, and i’m gonna make sure you do that.” he kisses the top of her head, resting his hand over her swollen stomach. “i just want to make things easier for you, sweetheart.”

“i just don’t see why it’s a big deal.” she huffs, glaring at him. “my morning sickness came back for a little bit, that’s all… and maybe i’ve been having a lot of chest pains, but i’m fine! really…”

“i think you’re forgetting about how your belly is so big now that it’s hard for you to stand for long periods of time.”

“that’s not my fault, chanyeol. it’s not my fault that your baby is gigantic and i just happen to be kinda small. makes my back hurt a lot.” 

“if it’s my fault, then why don’t you let me take care of you? quit being so stubborn… just let me take care of you so nothing happens…” 

it’s not a secret to him or to their friends that she’s struggling. they’d tried for so long before she finally got pregnant, and they’d been overjoyed about being parents. but that was before the pregnancy started taking such a toll on her. her doctor had warned them that it might be rough on her since she had such a hard time conceiving in the first place, but they hadn’t thought it would be  _ this  _ rough. she finally lets him take care of her, knowing he won’t go back to work until after the baby is born anyways. 

things happen scarily fast after that. chanyeol wakes up one morning with a bad feeling lingering over his head, but he gets up and makes breakfast for his wife. jihae doesn’t eat a lot, mostly pushing the food around on her plate before complaining of being in pain. 

“my back  _ really  _ hurts, chanyeol,” she whines, clinging to him rather than focusing on her breakfast. “it’s just… i feel so awful today…”

“is it worse than usual? should i take you to the hospital?” he runs a gentle hand through her hair, sighing as she rests her head against his shoulder. 

“no,” she pouts. “but will you rub my back?”

he could never say no to her, so he has her sit in front of him so he can rub her back. she seems to feel better while he does so, but after a while, she tenses up and grabs his arm. 

“chanyeol,” she whispers, suddenly pale. “chanyeol… i think i need to go to the hospital now.” 

“is it time?” he asks, slowly helping her up. she clings to him, looking as if she’s about to cry. she nods frantically. 

“i think so… i’ve been having contractions since seven… but my water didn’t break.” 

“well, we’d better be safe rather than sorry.” he scoops her up carefully, making sure to not move too suddenly. “it’s just… a little early. you’ve still got three more weeks, darling.”

“don’t ask me why, okay?” she whimpers, holding onto him tightly. “your baby decided that today is the perfect day to be born and i have no say in it, even though i’ve been carrying him for almost nine months.” 

“just relax, darling,” chanyeol replies, kissing her forehead. he lets her get into the car by herself, knowing she’d just get irritated with him if he tried to do everything for her. he buckles her seatbelt, though, because she’s too spaced out all of a sudden. they’d been smart when they put her hospital bag in the car in advance. she cries the whole time they’re in the car, leaning back in her seat so she can try to curl up. they make it to the hospital in record time. jihae’s water breaks just after a nurse gets her situated and changed into a hospital gown. things seem to pass by in a blur, but the time is filled with jihae’s pained cries and her tight grip on chanyeol’s hand. it’s nearing six thirty in the evening when their baby is finally born. chanyeol’s hand aches, but he ignores it for the sake of soothing his wife. she allows him to hold her gently, sobbing against his chest and chanyeol just doesn’t understand why. their baby was born healthy and she seems perfectly fine as well…

“jihae,” he murmurs, smoothing her damp hair away from her forehead. “sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know,” she cries, clutching at the front of his sweater. “but chanyeol, my chest, it hurts so much...” 

“it’ll be alright..” he kisses her forehead gently. “just wait a little longer, i’ll see if they can get you something for your pain.” 

the nurse comes back soon after, holding their baby. their little boy has been cleaned and the nurse tells them that he weighs six pounds. jihae is still crying even when she holds him for the first time, but she stops crying so hard once she gets her first glimpse of his tiny face. 

“oh, chanyeol…” she breathes, her pain long forgotten. “look how small he is..” 

“i’m proud of you, jihae.” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head. “what should we name him?”

“seojun,” she says softly. “let’s name him seojun.”

they have six peaceful days with seojun before chanyeol’s heart breaks. jihae never told the doctor about her pain, although he thought she did. six days later, he finds himself in the hospital waiting room, cradling their sleeping son in his arms. he’s praying that seojun stays asleep, he doesn’t want him to see any of this. observing the sleeping baby is the only thing keeping him together. his wife is dying and he can’t even do anything to stop it. she’d complained of pain in her chest frequently since giving birth, so he finally took her to the hospital after six days because something was clearly wrong. now, she could be dying because it might have been too late for the emergency surgery to save her. the doctor had said she’d had some kind of malignant tumor in one of her breasts, which chanyeol had somehow missed. chanyeol can feel his heart beginning to crack in half, though he tries to cover up his sadness. 

“oh, seojun… what are we gonna do without mommy?” he speaks softly, so he won’t wake the baby up. seojun sleeps peacefully in his arms, blissfully unaware of his mother’s life slipping away. 

“mr. park?” the nurse who’d been checking on jihae is suddenly standing near the door to her hospital room, waving him over. “your wife’s awake.. she’s asking for you.” 

chanyeol nods, getting up and slinging the bag they’d brought over his shoulder and cradling the baby against his chest. 

“is she okay?” he asks, biting his lip. 

“she…” the nurse falters. as she hesitates, he reads her name tag.  _ soojung _ . “she’s very weak… dr. kim isn’t sure if she’ll make it.”

“thank you,” he replies, heaving a sigh. he follows soojung into the room, waiting for the nurse to leave before even glancing at his wife. he sits down, setting the bag down and adjusting the baby’s blanket. 

“chanyeol…” her voice is hardly above a whisper. she’s so pale, paler than he’s ever seen her.

“i’m here,” he murmurs, leaning over and kissing her cheek. 

“i need you to.. please just listen carefully.” she sighs, reaching for his hand and holding it tightly, though her grip is looser than it had been. “i know i don’t have much time left, honey bun. it’s.. it’s gonna be you and him, chanyeol, and i… i’m so sorry for not being stronger…”

“no, no, no,” chanyeol shakes his head. “don’t apologize, sweetheart. that isn’t… it’s not your fault, jihae. we didn’t know this would happen…”

“still… i want you to find happiness no matter what happens… please don’t let this take the joy of life away from you. if i die…  _ park chanyeol _ , i need you to  _ look  _ at me. please… baby, if i die, i want you to try again, with love. raise our son and find someone to love. i want you to be happy when i’m gone.” her smile is sad, just like her eyes. 

“but you— honey, you’re not gonna die.” he murmurs, cradling seojun with one arm and reaching over to stroke her cheek with his free hand. “you’ll be fine, okay? everything’s gonna be fine.” 

“oh, yeollie…” her eyes are watering now, her lower lip trembling. “i wish i could believe you. can i hold seojun? just.. one last time.”

“of course…” he nods, gently placing their son into his wife’s arms. “just.. just take it easy, okay?”

“holding our son isn’t going to take away all of my energy.” she sighs tiredly, cradling the baby against her chest. “baby, i want you to take good care of him for me. tell him that his mommy loves him so much and that i’ll always be watching over him. please, chanyeol…”

“i… but i…” he stammers, trying to fight the prick of hot tears in his eyes. “no.. no, please don’t leave me… don’t leave us.. sweetheart, we need you… i love you…”

“chanyeol, i… i’m not strong enough.” she murmurs, handing the baby back to him. “the surgery… i don’t think it did anything to help me. it wasn’t something that i can fight, yeol… i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

“no, no…  _ i’m _ sorry.” he sighs, kissing her forehead. “i should have said something to the doctor when you couldn’t stop crying because your chest hurt so bad right after you gave birth. we could’ve stopped this…”

“chanyeol, please promise me you’ll try to be happy,” she whispers, gently kissing him on the lips. “please? i want you to be happy even when i’m not here anymore…”

“i promise,” he murmurs, nodding. “i promise i’ll try to be happy.”

“good…” she closed her eyes, sighing softly. “i love you so much, chanyeol… you and seojunnie both. i love you both so much.”

before he can even open his mouth to say he loves her too, she’s gone. he can tell the exact moment it happens, when she goes still and the heart monitor flatlines, and soojung hurries in with a sad look on her face. 

“i’m so sorry, mr. park,” she says, patting his shoulder. “i’m so sorry we couldn’t save her.”

chanyeol starts to feel like it might be better if he could stop feeling things. he starts to drift through life, only really caring about the baby. seojun looks so much like her, so much like his beloved that it almost hurts to look at him. but this is his  _ child _ , he had a part in creating him. he refuses to be the reason the baby suffers. the only problem is that he’s getting busier now. heartbreaking love songs are rising in popularity, and he’s been working with a nice young idol on a whole mini album of them. the boy goes by the name of chen, but his real name is kim jongdae. at twenty-three years old, he’s already an accomplished member of a trio called cbx. the trio had broken up a few years ago, with some members, like jongdae, going solo… or disappearing. he loves seojun, so much that he starts requesting that chanyeol brings the baby when it’s his time to work with the producer. 

“hey, what’s this?” the idol is leaning over his laptop, one headphone over his ear and one uncovered. he’s listening to something. “oh, man. this is  _ beautiful _ ! i think i’m gonna cry.”

then it hits chanyeol. jongdae’s listening to the piece he was working on for jihae. he never got a chance to show it to her. he clicks out of it, slowly pulling the headphones out of his laptop. 

“nothing,” he snaps. “it’s nothing.”

through jongdae, he eventually meets baekhyun, another ex-member of cbx. baekhyun reminds him of jihae in the best ways. the way he smiles, the way he throws his head back when he laughs. she would have loved him, if she was still here. seojun loves him too. chanyeol ends up hiring the younger to babysit for him, just when things are hectic and he can’t bring seojun to the studio. the boy is a good babysitter, always keeping chanyeol’s little boy occupied, always having him bathed and in bed by seven o’clock when chanyeol calls to check in. 

he gets home late one night, finding baekhyun sitting on the couch, examining a photo. when he gets closer, he sees which one it is. it’s a photo of himself and jihae at a christmas party. he’s wearing a black suit and she’s dressed in an elegant calf-length black dress. her belly is huge in the picture, since she was nearly eight months pregnant when they’d attended that party. the photographed jihae is glowing, and in that moment, chanyeol’s never missed her so much. he sighs loudly, drawing baekhyun’s attention away from the photo. 

“oh!” baekhyun says, setting the picture down. “mr. park… i didn’t realize you were back… seojunnie is sleeping already. do you want anything to eat?”

“no, i’m fine.” he sighs again. “where did you find that?”

“find what?” the boy raises an eyebrow. “oh, the photo? um… i picked a story to read to seojun and that picture fell out of the book. that’s your wife, right? she… she was really pretty. i.. i’m really sorry for your loss.”

“yeah,” he mumbles. “that’s jihae. and you’re right, she was really pretty. she was beautiful… and now she’s gone.”

“what.. what happened?” baekhyun asks softly, patting the empty couch cushion beside him. surprising himself, chanyeol takes a seat. 

“well… to start, she had trouble conceiving in the first place, so the doctor warned us that pregnancy was going to be rough on her… i just didn’t realize how rough he meant.” he ran a hand through his hair. “she told me she was in pain right after she gave birth to seojun, but she didn’t tell the doctor. i didn’t say anything. she seemed fine for a few days, but then it came back. i just don’t know what went wrong. i don’t know if it was there the whole time she was pregnant or if it just started before she gave birth. but she only had six days with him, baekhyun.  _ six days _ . she died six days after our son was born.”

“oh…” baekhyun whimpers. “oh, mr. park, i’m so sorry… that.. that must have been hard for you..”

“it was,” chanyeol murmurs. “it still is. seojun looks so much like her and i can’t even look at him without tearing up. it’s been four months and i can’t even try to do what she asked me to do for her.”

“what did she ask you to do?”

“well… i guess she didn’t really  _ ask  _ me to do it. she told me.. she told me to try and be happy when she was gone. and i just… i haven’t been able to let myself be happy. i snapped at chen the other day for listening to the track i was working on— for her. it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know. i miss her so much… she shouldn’t have died.”

“mr. park, i’m not a therapist, but i’m pretty sure it’s okay to still be grieving,” baekhyun said gently. “you  _ love  _ her, that isn’t going to ever go away. she’s always going to be a part of your life even though she’s gone… and it’s okay to miss her and grieve for her. she was your wife, mr. park. losing a partner is hard.”

“have you…?” he squints, trying to figure out how baekhyun knows this. 

“yes.” baekhyun’s answer is clipped, chanyeol can tell he’s holding back tears. “i lost my fiancé four years ago. his car was hit by a drunk driver and he… didn’t make it.” 

“i’m sorry for your loss, baekhyun.” chanyeol murmurs, reaching over to rub the boy’s shoulder. “it’s hard, isn’t it?”

“it is,” he breathes out, gently rubbing his eyes to get rid of his tears. “oh,  _ god _ , it’s so hard. it’s been four years and i’m still hurting. we weren’t even married yet. that’s.. that’s got to be even worse, losing a partner when you’re married.”

“it hurts to lose a partner no matter the circumstances, baekhyun.” chanyeol says softly. “now, why don’t you take the guest room for tonight? you’re in no state to be driving. you might start crying and drive your car into a tree, and then seojun will be without his favorite boy.”

“we can’t have that,” baekhyun murmurs. “but i don’t have any extra clothes with me.”

“that’s fine. i can lend you some pajamas for the night, if you’d like.”

“that’d be nice, mr. park… thank you.”

“quit calling me that, you’re making me feel so old. just call me chanyeol.”

“alright, chanyeol.”

baekhyun is easy to talk to. chanyeol wouldn’t have guessed that the poor thing had been engaged or lost his fiancé, he always seemed so happy. after a while, chanyeol gets even busier and invites baekhyun to move into the house to always be around for seojun. he gives him a raise, it just seemed like the fair thing to do. maybe it was because he feels bad— baekhyun’s witnessing all of seojun’s firsts and chanyeol feels bad because baekhyun hadn’t signed up to be a parent. he’d agreed to be a babysitter. he’d seen the baby when his first tooth came in, when he had his first bites of mushy baby food, and when the little boy had started to talk gibberish. his heart aches for chanyeol, now. the poor man is still grieving and his child is growing up and he hardly sees him. he’s found that he’s been spending more time at home, not just because of his son— but also because of baekhyun. he makes chanyeol’s heart flutter the same way jihae did, and he intends to act upon his feelings. he waits, but the moment is never right. 

and then, the miracle happens. when seojun is two years old, chanyeol realizes that he’s finally doing what jihae wanted him to do. he’s  _ happy _ . baekhyun has brought some stability to their lives and he’s so grateful. not only that, but… he’s fallen in love with him. the puppy-eyed, pouty idol-turned-babysitter that jongdae introduced him to stole his heart. baekhyun bashfully accepts when he asks him out on a date, and that’s the start of their blossoming relationship. it progresses quickly, they go on lots of dates and spend time together. seojun loves that his favorite baekkie is a permanent fixture in his life  _ and  _ in his daddy’s love life. the little boy has said his first words and thankfully, chanyeol got to hear them. his son’s first word was  _ daddy _ , though he suspected it could have been  _ baekkie  _ if he hadn’t taken some time off to spend the days with his son. the days spent with his son and his boyfriend are the best. seojun is four when chanyeol sits down with him for a little chat about baekhyun. 

“seojunnie, do you want to help daddy with something?” chanyeol’s got his son in his lap, holding the little one close. seojun is such a quiet child, but chanyeol is fine with getting nods as answers. “just nod, buddy, okay? can you do that for daddy?”

seojun nods enthusiastically. 

“do you like baekkie?” he gets a nod. 

“would you be okay with daddy and baekkie getting married?” another nod. 

“will you be okay with baekkie acting as your maternal figure since mommy isn’t with us?” seojun nods again. chanyeol really hopes this won’t come back to bite him in the ass. “thank you, bud. you’ve helped daddy a lot.”

he gets down on one knee a month later, on baekhyun’s birthday. the younger man bursts into tears, nodding frantically and clinging to chanyeol after the other has put the ring on his finger. he cries into chanyeol’s sweater for a good few minutes, but chanyeol doesn’t even mind. he holds his fiancé close, rubbing his back while baekhyun soaks his sweater with salty tears. he loves him, and though he hates seeing baekhyun cry, he lets him get it all out. jihae would be proud of him— he’s done exactly what she told him to. 

“i love you,” baekhyun sniffles. “i love you so much, park chanyeol.” 

“i love you too, baekhyunnie.” 

they don’t actively try for a baby, but it happens six months into their wedding planning. when baekhyun shyly reveals that he’s pregnant, chanyeol feels scared. he’s scared that it’ll be rough for his new lover the same way it was for his late wife. baekhyun is strong, but so was jihae, and she still died. it’s been four years, but it’s always on his mind. 

“chanyeol…” baekhyun opens his eyes, gazing at his lover in the dark. they’ve already laid down to sleep, but he just can’t. “yeollie…?”

“mmh?” chanyeol’s already half asleep. 

“are you mad at me?” 

“mad at you?” he sighs softly. “why would i be mad at you?”

“because… because i’m pregnant now and you’re scared you’re going to lose me the same way you lost jihae.” 

“oh, baekhyun…” chanyeol sits up, reaching over to turn in the bedside lamp. “come here, my love…”

“chanyeol…” baekhyun lets himself be cradled against his lover’s chest, resting his cheek against chanyeol’s pec. 

“i’m not mad, baekhyun,” he murmurs, rubbing baekhyun’s back. “but you’re right. i  _ am  _ scared that i’ll lose you the same way i lost her. i’m going to be scared even if your pregnancy is smoother than hers was. i’m going to be scared until you give birth and even then, i’ll be scared until you’ve been home with our baby for over six days.”

“it’s not going to happen.” baekhyun’s eyes are closed. “i’m not going to die after giving birth to our baby, chanyeol. i’m just as strong as she was… but she was  _ sick _ , yeollie. she knew she was dying even before you took her back to the hospital!”

“i know,” he mutters, burying his face in baekhyun’s hair. he places his hand over baekhyun’s tummy, even though it’s still flat. “i  _ know _ . why do you think this haunts me, baekhyun? i just can’t help thinking— what if baekhyun is sick too? what if there’s something he’s hiding from me that’s gonna kill him after the baby is born? i can’t do that all over again, baek… i can’t lose you too.”

“but you won’t lose me, my dear…” baekhyun sighs out, his voice sounding sleepy. “i won’t die… i’m not sick, chanyeol. i promise.”

“alright… but you’re not going to complain if i use my vacation time to take care of you.”

“fine, that’s fine. as long as you believe me when i say you’re not gonna lose me. you and seojun won’t lose me, i promise.”

they share a gentle kiss, warm and wonderful before baekhyun pulls away. he cups chanyeol’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over it with a fond smile on his face. he’s so in love with this man, he couldn’t imagine life turning out any other way. 

“now let’s go to sleep… we’re going to need it.”

the pregnancy does take a toll on baekhyun, but it’s only morning sickness and fatigue he’s dealing with. chanyeol has taken to working in the studio he’d set up in the basement, just to be closer to his family. seojun doesn’t understand at first, why his baekkie started crying when he asked why he’s getting so  _ chunky _ , but he’s happy when daddy tells him he’s going to be a big brother. baekhyun gets big fast, his belly visibly rounded by the end of the third month. the ultrasounds haven’t shown multiple babies, but he knows some babies hide behind their siblings in the womb. twins would be a lot to handle, but chanyeol will be with him every step of the way. 

“do you think i’m gonna have twins?” he asks softly, resting against a very sleepy chanyeol. his fiancé’s large hand rests over his round belly, a warm and comforting weight. 

“possibly.” his answer is soft and sleepy. “it could happen. if there’s two, one might be hiding from us or something.”

“that would be… interesting. god, being pregnant is so strange. i can’t believe i’m growing a human being inside of my body.” 

“do you  _ want  _ to have twins?” chanyeol’s still behind. “two? mini baek and mini chanyeol?”

“no, yeollie,” baekhyun answers. “i’m okay with not having twins. two babies means more pain when i’m in labor, more stress once the baby comes, if there’s two, and… more weight gain. i mean, look. my belly is already getting really big and i’m only five months pregnant.”

“you’re not fat, if that’s what you’re trying to say,” chanyeol kisses his fiancé’s cheek. “you look pretty like this, baek. you’re glowing.”

baekhyun’s belly is very swollen and heavy with their child by the time the entertainment agency has their christmas party. he doesn’t want to go, but he lets chanyeol help him get dressed up anyways. he’s way too pregnant to be attending parties, but chanyeol had begged him to go. besides, some of his coworkers haven’t met his fiancé yet, and chanyeol intends to change that. it rains the night of the party, so chanyeol decides he won’t have any alcohol because he doesn’t want baekhyun driving while it’s raining. 

“you’re not going to have any fun,” baekhyun pouts, all decked out in the fanciest outfit he’s ever worn. his belly appears to be even bigger because of the sweater he’s wearing. he’s clinging to chanyeol, biting his lip nervously. 

“please relax.” chanyeol murmurs, kissing the top of his fiancé’s head. one hand rests over baekhyun’s swollen stomach, in hopes of feeling the baby kick. “take a deep breath. good boy… i don’t need alcohol to have a good time. besides, seojun is with yoora tonight so we can celebrate at home.”

“there’s no way we’re gonna be celebrating the holidays with sex tonight, chanyeol.” baekhyun leans against his fiancé, sighing. he rubs a hand over his heavy belly, groaning softly when the baby kicks. “ _ this  _ will get in the way no matter what.”

“we can celebrate in other ways, baek,” chanyeol says, keeping his hand on baekhyun’s stomach. “and just tell me if you start to feel unwell, okay? we can go home any time you like.”

“okay…” baekhyun sighs again, resting his head against chanyeol’s bicep. he’s silent as he rubs his swollen belly gently. “chanyeol, my stomach hurts.”

“can you describe what it feels like?” chanyeol hugs baekhyun from behind, resting his hands over his lover’s tummy. 

“it’s… not a sharp pain, it’s kind of like an ache, i think. not too bad, but it’s uncomfortable.”

“let me know if it gets worse, love. i’ll take you home if you’re in too much pain.”

they chat and socialize with some of the people that work with chanyeol. chanyeol does most of the talking since he knows these people, while baekhyun stands beside him. the only person he knows beside his fiancé is jongdae, but he hasn’t seen him. 

“oh, and this is my fiancé, baekhyun.” chanyeol’s voice brings baekhyun back to the present moment. he smiles slightly, stifling a yawn. “baek, this is junmyeon and joohyun, we work together.”

“nice to meet you,” baekhyun mumbles, shaking each of their hands. he’s so tired, but that comes with pregnancy, causing him to sigh as he snuggles into chanyeol’s side. he wants to go home, but chanyeol seems invested in these conversations. 

“wow, did i  _ miss  _ something?” baekhyun knows that voice. it’s got to belong to jongdae. 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks softly, gently pulling away from chanyeol so jongdae’s loud voice doesn’t interrupt the conversation between junmyeon and chanyeol and the pretty woman whose name he’s already forgotten. 

“um, baek, since  _ when  _ have you and park chanyeol been engaged?” jongdae raises an eyebrow. “also, you didn’t tell me you were so far along when you said you were pregnant! jesus, you look like you might give birth any second.”

“sorry, i just…” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “it’s been tough, okay? i keep forgetting things and chanyeol’s so busy… i don’t even wanna be here tonight. i’m obviously way too pregnant for this kind of crap.” 

“you should’ve told that to chanyeol, stupid. he wouldn’t make you go to a stupid party in this state. you know what happened to his late wife, right?”

“yes, i  _ know _ . she was sick, dae. she was sick and she never told anyone and she died after seojun was born. i know that. but what does that have anything to do with me?”

“i’m just saying, chanyeol’s probably worried about losing you, ya know? it wouldn’t make sense for him to drag you to a party if you’re not feeling up to it.” jongdae shrugs slightly. 

“well, if you must know, i agreed to come and he said we could leave whenever i want to.” baekhyun replies, crossing his arms over his chest. “and to be fair, i’m not feeling up to anything anymore. i’m always tired.”

“maybe you should ask chanyeol to take you home if you’re not feeling well,” jongdae says. “you should be resting!”

“i don’t want to interrupt his conversation,” baekhyun whines. “and you’re not going to either!”

he waits patiently, chatting with jongdae and only jongdae until chanyeol finally notices that he’s missing. he’s mistaken for jongdae’s partner multiple times, but he hardly pays it any attention. once chanyeol finds him, baekhyun informs him that he’s not feeling well and that he’d like to go home. he gives jongdae a big hug before leaving, almost clinging to his friend as jongdae talks to chanyeol very loudly. he’s silent as chanyeol leads him back to the car, holding his fiancé’s hand tightly. he feels a little weird, but he isn’t in pain. he just feels emotionally exhausted. he gets into the car without chanyeol’s help, buckling his own seatbelt before slumping against the seat with a sigh. he’s so tired. 

“are you okay?” chanyeol asks, shutting the driver’s side door. he starts the car, but makes no move to back out of his parking spot. baekhyun sighs again, shrugging. 

“i don’t know. but i want to go home, chanyeol.” he mumbles, glancing down at his belly. the baby’s been surprisingly calm today. 

“okay…” chanyeol backs out of the parking spot, turning on the headlights because it’s dark and it’s raining. they sit in silence on the way home, not even the radio is on. this is what baekhyun wants. he wants to get home and change into something more comfortable. he wants to lay down with his fiancé and get his quality chanyeol time. he wishes they’d just hired a babysitter to look after seojun until they got back. the little boy hasn’t got a grasp on what people are feeling, but he gives hugs all the time and they always make baekhyun feel better. he’s such a sweet kid, chanyeol’s done a great job raising him. 

“wait, chanyeol— can you…?” baekhyun whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut. the uncomfortable ache has returned, even worse than before. he groans softly, rubbing his belly as the stomach pain he’s been feeling all night returns. 

“hang on, we’re almost home…” chanyeol murmurs, reaching over to hold one of baekhyun’s hands. “it’s okay, baek… just relax.”

luckily for him, chanyeol is right. they’re home within a few minutes. baekhyun is trying to ignore the uncomfortable ache he’s feeling, breathing in and out and letting chanyeol carry him back inside. he lets chanyeol help him get changed into a soft, worn out sweater and an old pair of flannel pajama pants. he clings to his lover, whimpering every time the pain flares up. 

“i’m worried about you,” chanyeol says softly, petting his fiancé’s hair. “you seemed okay at the party, but now… i don’t know, baek. if this pain you’re feeling doesn’t go away by the time we go to sleep, i’m taking you to the hospital.”

“i don’t wanna go to the hospital,” baekhyun mumbles, snuggling against chanyeol. “you should change, chanyeol. you can’t wear your suit to bed.”

“alright, alright. you just relax, okay?” he gives baekhyun a kiss before getting up, changing quickly and going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. he rushes back to baekhyun when he’s done, finding his fiancé fast asleep. he kisses baekhyun’s cheek before turning off the light and snuggling up beside him.

baekhyun wakes him up at five in the morning, frantic and scared. the weird ache he’s been feeling came back again, once again worse than before.

“chanyeol, it hurts a lot,” he whimpers, patting chanyeol’s cheek with his cold hand in an attempt to get his fiancé to get up faster. his other hand rests over his belly, his fingers practically digging into his sweater. “please get up…”

“i’m up,” he groans, sitting up and hugging baekhyun close to him. “hey… how long have you been up, baby?”

“three hours,” baekhyun whines, rubbing his hands over his belly. at least he knows nothing is wrong with his baby. their little one has been kicking frequently since he woke up.

“why didn’t you wake me sooner?” chanyeol asks, kissing baekhyun’s forehead. “come on, up you get. we’re going to the hospital.”

“yeol… carry me…” baekhyun whimpers, lifting his arms so chanyeol can pick him up.

“you’re such a baby,” chanyeol says fondly, scooping his fiancé up and carrying him to the car. “it’s gonna be fine, buttercup. we’ll get you taken care of.”

“chanyeollie…” baekhyun whines loudly, clinging to his lover. “will you get me some vitamin water when we get to come back?”   
“sure, baby. anything for you.” he focuses on getting baekhyun to the hospital, worried that something is seriously wrong. 

nothing is truly  _ wrong _ , but baekhyun’s body has convinced itself that the baby needs to come early. he’s only eight months along, but hopefully the baby will be okay. the poor thing is taken to a room by the same nurse that cared for jihae before her death, soojung. it’s chanyeol, though, who helps baekhyun into his hospital gown and helps him get comfortable. baekhyun whines that he feels dizzy, clinging to chanyeol’s arm.

“chanyeollie,” he whimpers, his nails digging into chanyeol’s arm. “what’s happening?”

“well… you know how you said your stomach has been hurting?” chanyeol reaches over, gently petting baekhyun’s hair. “buttercup, you’ve been having contractions. your body is convinced that the baby needs to be born  _ now _ . they’re gonna do a c-section, baek. everything’s gonna be fine.”

“oh… oh my  _ god _ , yeol!” baekhyun cries, his grip tightening slightly. “we don’t have the bag of baby stuff! she’s gonna need her cute little onesie and that blanket!”

“i can go get it while you’re in the operating room…” he squeezes baekhyun’s hand gently, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “but i really don’t want to leave you.”

“call jongdae, beg him to get the bag! baby is gonna need it, her blanket is in there! ” baekhyun replies, finally releasing chanyeol’s arm.

“no. i’m going to call yoora. seojun should be here too.” chanyeol mumbles, pulling his phone out. “i’ll be right back, honey.”

he makes his call quickly, begging yoora to stop by their home and pick up the bag before bringing seojun to the hospital. she sighs but relents, agreeing to get the things they need for the baby. baekhyun is whimpering when he enters the room again, squirming in his bed. his eyes are squeezed shut, his bangs sweaty and matted down to his forehead. he opens his eyes slightly when chanyeol sits down and holds his hand. 

“how’re you feeling, buttercup?” he asks gently, wincing when baekhyun tips his head back and moans softly. 

“not good,” he whines, slapping chanyeol’s hand away and settling his hands over his swollen belly. “baby’s really active… oh,  _ chanyeol _ , it really hurts. when is… when will they…?”

“soon, honey. the nurse will be back soon, okay? they’re probably gonna do an ultrasound and check on the baby before they take you to the operating room.”

“no!” baekhyun yells, reaching up to tug at his hair. his eyes are full of tears. “i can’t wait! chanyeol, i can’t wait, it hurts so  _ much _ !”

“buttercup, listen to me,” chanyeol murmurs, grabbing baekhyun’s hands and pulling them away from his hair. “you need to relax, okay? i know the contractions are bad, but they’ll pass. sweetheart, just breathe in and out… calm down. just think… once this is over, we’ll be able to hold our little girl for the first time. think of the positives, baekhyunnie. our baby will be here soon, my love. just relax.”

“chanyeol, i feel like i’m gonna be sick…” he whimpers. “please let go of me!”

“i’m sorry, baek.” chanyeol sighs, letting go of baekhyun’s hands. “should i bring the trash can over here?”

“yes… i think i’m gonna need it.” baekhyun’s looking a little green in the gills. chanyeol pushes the trash can over to his fiancé, wincing when baekhyun leans over and vomits. 

“just hang on, honey.” chanyeol rubs his lover’s back gently, handing him a tissue. “it’s okay…”

“i’m never going to let this child forget how sick she made me before she was even born,” he groans, wiping his mouth with the tissue. “i’ll tell her every year on her birthday.”

“let’s… talk about something else.” he mumbles, kissing baekhyun’s cheek. “like… hm, what should we name her?”

“oh, actually— um, chanyeollie…” baekhyun’s eyes fill with tears. “i was thinking we could name her after jihae?”

“let’s have a few other names, just in case,” chanyeol murmurs. “it’s just… it still hurts, baek. it’s been four years since i lost her and i just don’t know if i can handle hearing her name everyday.”

“it’s okay, chanyeol… it was just a suggestion.” baekhyun squeaks, exhaling loudly and closing his eyes. “god, it’s getting  _ worse _ …”

“don’t worry,” soojung says. she’s standing in the doorway, another nurse behind her. “it’s time to take you to the operating room!” 

“can chanyeol come too?” baekhyun asks, frowning. 

“sorry, honey,” the other nurse replies. her name tag reads  _ seungwan _ . “no husbands allowed in the operating room. he can wait outside, though. he can come in while you get your ultrasound, but he’s gotta go when it’s time for your c-section.”

“oh,” baekhyun whines. “fine…”

before he knows it, chanyeol is in the waiting room with his son sleeping on his lap and his sister sitting beside him. he’s nervous, but seojun’s warmth is surprisingly comforting him. yoora’s chatting on the phone with their mother, informing her that chanyeol’s about to become a dad again and that she should prepare for a visit from her son, his lovely fiancé, and their adorable children. chanyeol’s hand is hovering near his mouth, he’s still considering biting his nails until they’re bleeding. 

“chanyeol, calm down.” yoora sighs, smacking his arm. “baekhyun isn’t jihae. she didn’t even have a c-section! and he isn’t sick. you’ll have a fiancé  _ and  _ a daughter when it’s all over.”

“i can’t help it!” chanyeol snaps. “i can’t help being worried, yoora! if you lost your spouse, you’d understand why i’m so worried about baekhyun. i was a mess after i lost jihae. i can’t handle that again. i need baekhyun. so does seojun and so does our baby.” 

“well, maybe you should go check on him. i’m pretty sure that nurse is waving for you.” 

baekhyun seems fine when chanyeol follows soojung into baekhyun’s hospital room, although he does look exhausted. he’s got a tiny pink bundle cuddled up to his chest and he’s smiling sleepily. 

“chanyeol,” he calls out, his voice barely above a whisper. “come meet your daughter.”

“oh, baek… she’s so tiny.” he hurries over, kissing his fiancé’s forehead before sitting down in the chair next to his bed. “she’s beautiful, buttercup… i’m so proud of you. i’m sorry i wasn’t there with you.”

“i know,” baekhyun says, gazing down at the sleeping baby. “and it’s okay. you weren’t allowed to be in there with me anyways. where’s seojunnie? i want him to meet his sister.”

“let’s name her first,” chanyeol says, scooting his chair closer so he can get a good look at their little one. “oh… she looks so precious…”

“i know, doesn’t she? she’s so cute.” baekhyun smiles tiredly. “did you think up any names for her?” 

“i did… i wanted to talk to you about this.” chanyeol murmurs. “we could… name her jisoo, or jonghee. but maybe we could name her minseo or yoori?”

“i like yoori and minseo… are you sure you don’t want to name her after jihae?”

“i’m sure, honey. if we have another baby girl someday, maybe she can be named jihae,” chanyeol says. “but it’s too soon, baek. i don’t think i can handle having a daughter that has the same name as her.”

“that’s okay, yeollie,” baekhyun murmurs, stifling a yawn. “i like yoori best, i think.”

“yoori, then. park yoori.” 

“wanna hold her?” he asks sleepily, trying to keep his eyes open. 

“of course, baek. gimme.” chanyeol doesn’t wait, he carefully takes the newborn from his fiancé, cradling her against his chest carefully. it feels so different from when he held seojun for the first time. then, he’d been worried about jihae’s health, but he isn’t worried about baekhyun’s. baekhyun is okay. “take a nap, my love. i’ll get seojun and yoora soon.”

yoori is so much smaller than seojun was when he was born. she looks okay, but it’s obvious that she came early because of how small she is. she only weighs about four pounds. holding her is easy, for chanyeol. it’s like holding one of seojun’s stuffed toys. she sleeps while baekhyun sleeps, but wakes up before he does. chanyeol’s the one who soothes her until she stops crying, kissing her tiny cheek when she settles down. she’s content to hold onto his finger, her tiny hand looking so small compared to his. she makes her tiny baby noises at him, and he can’t help but melt. 

“aren’t you just so cute?” he coos, stroking her tiny cheek. “just like your mommy, hm? you got all the cuteness from him, didn’t you?” 

“chanyeol… quiet.” baekhyun groans, rolling over to squint at his lover. “i’m tired…”

“i’m sorry, love, i’m just talking to her… look, she likes it.” 

“oh, she’s so cute… whatever, i’ll nap later. go get seojun and yoora!”

he gives the baby back to his lover, standing up and stretching before going off to fetch his son and sister. yoora holds yoori, squeals about how their names are similar, and chats with baekhyun while chanyeol gives seojun a pep talk. the little boy is nervous about meeting his baby sister.

“junnie, listen,” he says, crouching down to seojun’s level. “she’s just a baby. she’s gonna love you no matter what because you’re her big brother, buddy.”

“but…” his wide eyes fill with tears. “daddy, what if she hates me? we don’t have the same mommy!”

“seojun, she won’t hate you just because baekkie isn’t your real mommy. she’ll learn about your mommy too… listen to me, bud. i know something’s going on and we’ll handle it, but right now we’re gonna meet your baby sister, okay?”

“okay,” seojun mumbles, letting his father pick him up. he’s four years old, but even big boys should be allowed to be carried by their dads every so often. 

“seojunnie, look,” yoora says, smiling. “isn’t your sister so cute?”

“she looks wrinkly,” he makes a face. “and ugly.”

“she’ll get cuter,” baekhyun says. “did you have a good nap, junnie?”

“yes, baekkie!” the four year old squeals, trying to wriggle out of his father’s lap. 

“seojun, please, sit still—”

“i’m gonna leave now, if that’s alright. call me if you need anything,” yoora murmurs before taking her leave. 

“seojunnie,” baekhyun says softly, fixing the blanket that little yoori is wrapped in. “would you like to hold your sister?”

“yes! please, can i?” he begs, looking at baekhyun and then at his father. 

“of course, but you have to sit still in daddy’s lap, okay?”

“okay, baekkie!” seojun stays still, allowing his father to adjust his arms so he can hold the baby. she’s so little, but she looks bigger cradled in her brother’s small arms. chanyeol smiles fondly, keeping a loose grip on his son just in case. 

“this is precious…” baekhyun cries, discreetly wiping at his eyes. “i wish i had my phone.”

“there will be more moments, my love. don’t worry,” chanyeol says softly, effectively soothing his weeping fiancé. “don’t cry. save those tears for their milestones, baby.”

“daddy, can we go home? i’m sleepy…” seojun rubs at his eyes, yawning. 

“mhm, we’ll have to go soon anyways. visiting hours are almost up and baekhyunnie has to stay overnight with yoori.” 

he takes seojun home, tucking the little boy into bed once they’ve both changed into their pajamas. he makes himself a snack, deciding to do some reading. it’s weird how quiet the house is when baekhyun isn’t with him. he misses him already, even though he knows baekhyun is resting peacefully in the hospital with their newborn baby. for the first time in a long time, he wakes up to the sound of crying. it’s not the same high pitched sound of a newborn crying, but he bets he knows where it’s coming from. heaving a sigh, chanyeol gets up, rushing down the hallway to his son’s room. 

“hey, buddy, what’s going on?” he settles down at the edge of seojun’s bed, frowning. 

“bad dream, daddy…” his son has wrapped himself up in his blankets. “it was really bad!”

“you wanna tell me about it?”

“you and baekkie stopped loving me ‘cause you have the new baby and… and my mommy wasn’t here to comfort me!”

“oh, seojun…” chanyeol sighs softly, laying down next to his son. “listen… baekhyun and i won’t stop loving you because we have yoori, okay? that won’t happen. it doesn’t matter if you’re not baekkie’s baby, either. he loves you as if you’ve been his, bud. and your mommy… she’s with you and me every day. she’ll always be watching over us.”

“what if yoori doesn’t like me because i’m not really her brother?”

“that won’t happen. just because you have different mommies doesn’t mean she won’t like you. she’s gonna love you, seojun, because you’re her big brother and you’ll protect her, right?”

“yeah…” the little boy sniffles, snuggling closer to his father. “i’m sorry, daddy…”

“don’t be, bud. it’s okay… i’m glad you told me how you were feeling.” chanyeol sighs, reaching over to ruffle his son’s hair. 

“can i sleep in your bed with you tonight?” the poor thing is still crying, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“of course,” chanyeol murmurs, nodding. in his mind, seojun is still his little baby. he scoops him up, carrying him to the other bedroom. he notices how seojun is already half asleep by the time they’re both settled down again. “goodnight, seojunnie.”

chanyeol wakes before his son, feeling overly exhausted and a little bit nervous. baekhyun might be able to come home today, but he isn’t sure if yoori is okay yet. he’ll find out once he goes back to the hospital to fetch his fiancé. he takes seojun to daycare once the boy is awake and dressed, killing time so he doesn’t have to go back to the hospital so early. he hates it there, knowing jihae died in one of those rooms. it’s different, he supposed, since his fiancé and daughter are there now and very much alive, but the place still scares him. baekhyun isn’t alone when he goes up to visit, though. he still looks exhausted, but his eyes light up when he sees chanyeol. jongdae sighs loudly, cradling his friend’s baby closer to his chest. 

“now you’re interrupting our best friend moment?” he whines, scowling at chanyeol. “baekhyunnie, you picked the worst man to marry!”

“you didn’t think i was the worst when i produced all those chart-topping songs for you,” chanyeol replies, rolling his eyes before leaning over to give baekhyun a kiss. “hi, buttercup. how are you feeling today?”

“i’m okay,” baekhyun answers softly. “but i would like to hold my daughter.”

“i was gonna leave anyways.” jongdae huffs, giving the baby back to baekhyun. he’s so gentle with yoori, the way he handles her reminds chanyeol of how a little girl would handle a porcelain doll. “text me if you need anything, okay?”

“okay,” baekhyun mumbles, stroking the sleeping baby’s soft cheek. “drive safe, jongdae.”

“we need to talk,” chanyeol murmurs once jongdae is gone. “about seojun.”

“did something happen?” baekhyun asks, reaching over to hold chanyeol’s hand. “baby… you look so troubled.”

“he woke me up last night and he was crying, baek… and he said he had a dream where we didn’t love him anymore because we had yoori and because jihae is his mother and you’re not. i just… i don’t know why he feels like that,” chanyeol sighs. “you’ve loved him so much since you first started working for me. i wanted to hire you because you  _ love  _ him, you know? no one else seemed to be so interested in helping me raise a baby, but you were. you loved my son as if he were yours too, and… i don’t know why he’s questioning it now. we’ve loved him, baek…”

“chanyeol,” baekhyun murmurs, squeezing his fiancé’s hand. “calm down, please. you’re starting to get all teary eyed. take a deep breath, sweetheart. okay… so seojun is doubting our love, or he’s questioning whether or not we’re going to love him as much as the new baby and to top it all off, there’s a gap in his life where  _ his  _ mommy should be. he’s been told about her and he’s seen pictures of her but he’s never gotten to talk to her, obviously. we can help him, chanyeol… i know he must miss jihae even if she’s been dead since he was a baby.”

“i know…” chanyeol whimpers, letting go of baekhyun’s hand. “i just… feel like i’ve failed him. i should have spent more time talking to him about her. he should feel like he knows his mother! i’m the only one in the house who knew her, i’m the only one who can fix that for him. i just wish he could’ve met her and remembered her.”

“chanyeol, baby…” baekhyun bites his lip. “this isn’t going to be easy. you and seojun might need to go to counseling, but we can talk about that later. for now… let’s just be there for him. and i’m here for you, too.”

“thank you,” he says softly, nodding. “i love you, baekhyun.”

“i love you too. wanna hold your baby?”

“yeah, gimme.” he lets baekhyun hand yoori to him, easily cradling her in his arms. she’s awake, blinking up at him with wide eyes. “god… she’s so cute.”

“you’re just gonna keep saying that, aren’t you?” baekhyun asks, letting his head fall back against the pillow. he sighs tiredly. “i wanna go home. i need a shower and some good food… i’m  _ so  _ hungry…”

“luckily for you, i talked to your doctor and he said you’d be able to come home today.”

“oh, thank god… when? when will they let me go?” 

“no later than noon, darling. by noon we’ll be home and you can get yoori settled into the nursery room.” chanyeol says. “in fact, i could go check now…”

“please,” baekhyun begs, pouting as chanyeol gives the baby back to him. “please convince the doctor to let me go home now…”

“i’ll be right back, baek.”

chanyeol brings baekhyun and yoori home later that day, shortly before he needs to pick seojun up from daycare. he’s almost dreading the moment seojun gets back, but he knows baekhyun wants to ask the boy about how he’s feeling. seojun is remarkably quiet during the ride home, even as his father tries to get him to talk. eventually, chanyeol gives up. if seojun doesn’t want to talk, that’s okay. baekhyun’s alone on the couch when they get back, obviously waiting for them. seojun runs to him, throwing his little backpack down as he goes. chanyeol takes care of that, joining his fiancé and son so they can have a talk.

“so,” baekhyun says slowly, pulling seojun into his lap. “i think we need to talk, seojunnie.”

“why?” the little one asks, pouting up at baekhyun.

“because daddy said you had a bad dream last night,” he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of seojun’s head. “and we wanna make sure it won’t happen again.”

“we just wanna know why you’re feeling the way you are, bud,” chanyeol says. “can you tell baekhyunnie about your dream?”

“don’t wanna,” he mumbles, pressing his cheek against baekhyun’s chest. baekhyun sighs softly, petting seojun’s soft hair.

“baby, i wanna help… and so does daddy.” he replies, watching the little boy close his eyes. “but we can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on.”

“you and daddy don’t wanna help.” the response is like a slap in the face for both of them.

“why do you think that?” chanyeol asks, his tone clipped. he’s trying not to let himself break just yet.

“because… there’s a new baby,” seojun says, pouting. his eyes are wide and full of sadness. “and you won’t love me the same.”

“seojun, baby, that is  _ not  _ true.” baekhyun says firmly. he’s got tears in his eyes and his lower lip is trembling. “i love you so much, junnie. i’ve loved you like you were my own since the day i started looking after you and your daddy… he had to raise you without your mommy and that was  _ hard  _ for him. still, even though he lost your mommy, he knew everything would be fine because he had you, baby… don’t question how much we love you just because yoori is here now. we love you both  _ so  _ much, i promise.”

“we do love you, seojun,” chanyeol murmurs, staring down at his hands. “we love you more than you could possibly imagine. baekhyun’s right. it was hard for me after your mom died, but i got through it because i wasn’t alone. i had you, seojunnie… you’re my son and i’ll always love you no matter what… and that’s a promise.”

“are you sure?” seojun asks. the little boy looks so unsure. 

“of course we are,” chanyeol answers. “you’re our son, bud. we love you because we… we’re your parents. i know baekhyun isn’t your mommy, but he’s been there since you were a baby. he loves you as much as i do. there might be another baby in the house now, but it doesn’t change how much we love you.” 

“there’s something i wanted to talk about,” baekhyun says softly, reaching over to hold chanyeol’s hand. “i just… wanted to ask you guys something.”

“go ahead, baek.”

“well… seojunnie, once your daddy and i get married, i’ll be part of the family… and you and i have been close since you were really little, right?”

“right!” seojun chirps, hugging baekhyun tightly.

“i guess this is more of a question for daddy…” he sighs, running his fingers through seojun’s hair. “i want to adopt seojun. you know, be one of his official guardians, yeollie.”

“i… i think we can do that,” chanyeol murmurs, giving baekhyun’s hand a gentle squeeze. “we can definitely do that.”

seojun’s fifth birthday is coming up, so chanyeol decides that it’s the perfect time for baekhyun to legally become seojun’s other parent. he wonders if seojun might start calling baekhyun mom, but he knows that won’t happen right away. he’s already sent in all the required documents, every signature that he needed filled out. it’ll be a nice surprise, hopefully, if it gets accepted.

“oh, yoori, you’re so cute,” he can hear baekhyun cooing from the baby’s room, no doubt cuddling the baby and kissing her round cheeks. “it’s almost your brother’s birthday, you know? he’s getting so old already, baby. pretty soon, you’ll be old enough for school too…” 

he thinks it’s cute. he wonders briefly if jihae would have talked to seojun the same way if she had survived. he still thanked the heavens for sending him baekhyun, the ex-idol who kept him from falling apart and helped raise his son. he knows that under different circumstances, if he had met baekhyun and fallen in love with him, jihae would love him too. she was his best friend before she was his wife and he knows she would love his fiancé. 

“holy crap, chanyeol!” he hears baekhyun’s distressed whine and practically runs to him, finding baekhyun in the kitchen,

“what?” he asks, frantic. “what’s wrong?”

“i forgot to make seojun’s birthday cake!” baekhyun cries, smacking his hand against his forehead. “ _ fuck _ ! god dammit… he’s gonna be so disappointed, yeollie..”

“let’s not panic, baby,” chanyeol says, wrapping his arms around baekhyun. “i can run to the bakery and get a cake.”

“but it’s not the same!” baekhyun wails, pressing his cheek against chanyeol’s chest. “i told him i’d make him a cake and now i have no time!”

“that’s why i’m gonna go to the bakery and get him a cake. he literally won’t know the difference, baekhyun.”

“fine. i can make one next year…”

“that’s the spirit. i’ll be right back.”

the trip to the bakery takes him longer than expected, but he ends up with a cake for his son. he’d even gotten ‘happy birthday seojun’ written in yellow buttercream frosting. it might not taste quite as good as something baekhyun would have made, but seojun will love it. they got him some toys and clothes, but the biggest surprise was the letter chanyeol hands to him after cake. baekhyun helps him open it, holding yoori in his lap. this is a family moment. seojun takes out the papers, but he can’t read them so chanyeol takes them and reads to him.

“what does that mean?” the little boy asks when his father is done talking.

“it means that baekhyunnie was able to legally adopt you,” chanyeol says, smiling. “so he’s officially your other parent.”

baekhyun and chanyeol both know that he won’t be a replacement for jihae. they know that seojun knows who his mother is and they won’t try to get him to think of baekhyun as his mother, but if he wants consider him that way, that’s fine too. chanyeol is just so glad for his little family. five years have passed since he lost jihae, but he knows she’s in a better place and he’s happy again. things couldn’t be any more perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it through this whole fic, congratulations and i hope you enjoyed it  
> my twitter is @/kissbaeks
> 
> also, a lot of what seojun feels is like. kind of my own experience with how i felt about my adopted parents when i was old enough to grasp that i was born from someone else and not them. it’s a really hard thing to deal with especially when you’re young, even when you know that the person or people who adopted you love you. so, yeah.


End file.
